Control

 Control


What is this circle of testing,
counting carbs, and injecting insulin?


What does this tight control gain?
Why do I test over and over,
repeating the endless cycle of blood?



I celebrate each little victory,
a lower A1c, creating a new recipe
that doesn't send my glucose soaring,
finding a few moments of peace
when I actually forget my diabetes
and just live in the moment.

Control - I never knew
how much I would learn
to value that word.

I control my blood glucose 
as much as humanly possible,
instead of letting it...

Control me.


No comas, blindness, amputations,
no suffering like my grandmother,
had to go through.

Who am I to complain
about a few finger sticks,
counting carbs, injecting insulin,
getting labwork done,
overcoming my fear of needles,
when it can save my eyes,
save my feet, save my very life?

So what if I have to count carbs
and feel like a pincushion?
I'd rather count 

than die a little
every day...

Wouldn't you?


Control...

Its worth every moment that I give,
every day, month after month,
to stay here and enjoy
the spring blossoms on the apple tree,
the crash of waves on the shoreline after a storm,
the voice of my sweetheart in the starry dark,
my daughter's smiling face,
and someday...

the laughter of my grandchildren.


Petra